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LAURA AZIZ

missing

Grab a pen and paper.

Write:
I miss
I miss
I miss
I miss

fill in the blanks.

Keep going until you’ve let out every thing, big and small, that is sitting somewhere in your chest. 

The ache for missing friends, 

time alone, 

swimming, 

hugging your Mum, 

holding hands, 

not being a 24 hour a day snack machine, 

the sound of silence, 

being close enough to whisper secrets, 

 getting dressed up for a night out, 

stroking friends faces, 

pissing yourself laughing about nothing at all but actually everything with your very best people, 

being cooked for

IGof being apart long enough to miss your kids.

All the things are welcome here.

Do NOT justify any of these feelings. On the paper, or in your head, or out loud.

Feel them. Acknowledge them. Sit with them.

I did this yesterday during my morning pages (see IG highlights or my blog if you don’t know what they are) and I can’t tell you how good it felt to take some time to properly honour all these things I love by giving them space on the page.

My biggest lesson learnt during this time of lockdown has been that my kids do feelings better than anyone I know - they literally feel the pain that dropped ice cream/missed party/wrong kind of sock WITH EVERY FIBRE OF THEIR BEING. They sob and feel and ask for comfort - and then they’re done. They move on. The feeling passes. They don’t shove it down or distract themselves or tell themselves ‘it’s not that bad compared to x’. All that shit we do as adults. Spoiler alert - it doesn’t work!

The momentary ‘forgetting’ comes back harder as a remembering somewhere down the line.

I’ve been letting myself feel all the things and yeah it sucks at the time but ultimately? I feel better after a sob. Maybe you will, too.